During a bicycle marathon we did in Central Park in the 1970s, I had an accident—I was thrown from the bicycle, and my shoulder hit a lamppost. My shoulder was pretty smashed up, and I had surgery which they botched. They had me exercise too soon afterwards, the reconstruction work all fell apart, and they said I needed surgery again.
This time, when they brought me into the recovery room, the doctor said, "Make a fist." I couldn’t move, and I discovered that I was paralysed. Nothing would move! I was conscious for four hours, in agony, while they kept coming over every 15 minutes to look at me and say, "She’s still out."
They put me on a ventilator since, because I was paralysed, my lungs weren’t working. At one point, all of a sudden, the ventilator stopped, and I started to suffocate. I couldn’t say anything or do anything, but inwardly I screamed, "Guru!"—and they got the ventilator going. About an hour later, the same thing happened again, and again I inwardly screamed, "Guru!"—and they got the ventilator going again. Finally, after about four hours (I heard somebody talking about the time), I came out of the paralysis.
At that point, the pain was so excruciating, and I saw no end in sight. I decided that this was my chance to discover that I really knew that I would come back again—I would leave the body. I concentrated on going, and everything turned grey, and I started to float down a long tunnel. The pain started to recede, and I saw the light at the end of the tunnel.
Then the respirator stopped again, and that’s when I would have died. It suddenly occurred to me, "If I go now, it’s going to go on the record: ‘She never came out of the anaesthetic.’ I’m not going to let them get away with that." I screamed, "Guru!"—and he got the respirator going again, for the third time. Then I started fighting—it took another half-hour before I was able to move my eyes. They saw my eyelids fluttering and knew I was no longer under the anaesthetic, and it was another hour before they finally took the respirator out of my throat.
And here I am, more than 30 years later. I could tell other stories, but that’s the most dramatic one, I think. Guru has saved my life many times.
Sri Chinmoy told the following story about Sarama, who was in the hospital at the time recovering from the cycling accident.
This time I meditated only on compassion, bringing down compassion. Here quite a few disciples—about twenty—have received abundant compassion. Somebody has received the most, although she is not here physically, and that is Sarama.
At one point I was looking just at the front of the room, where the disciples are not supposed to sit, and Sarama’s soul was there. I said to Sarama, "What are you doing? Why are you sitting in the ‘forbidden area’?" In a joking manner I said it.
She said, "I am not the body; I am the soul."
I said to her, "Where is the difference, good girl, between the body and the soul? For me there is no difference between the body and the soul, the substance and the essence."
Sometimes when I see the body, inside the body I immediately see the soul’s entire divinity; and sometimes when I see the soul, I see inside the soul the qualities and capacities of the body. There is no difference between the body and the soul.
This was Sarama’s message: "I have come here to swim in the heart-sea of your compassion."I said, "Swim as long as you want to; swim to your heart’s content. I will let you swim inside the heart-sea of my compassion."
This was Sarama’s soul. Nineteen other disciples have received compassion in profuse measure, but her soul has definitely received more than anybody else. When we meditate, the soul of somebody who is not physically present can come and receive. It happens; it has happened many, many times. I am very grateful and very proud of Sarama’s achievement.
Compassion, compassion! It is the divine compassion that keeps us in this boat, in the Boat of the Supreme. The moment the Supreme takes away His Compassion, we are worse than useless. In every way we become the worst possible failures. But when the Supreme’s Compassion works in and through us and we receive it devotedly and cheerfully, then the mightiest power enters into us. Adamantine will enters into us when the Supreme’s Compassion we receive and utilise for the Supreme.
Of all the Powers the Supreme has, His Compassion-Power is the most powerful Power. It is the miracle of miracles. No other miracle-power is as powerful as the Supreme’s Compassion-Power. When we receive the Supreme’s Compassion-Power and value it, then everything in us can be illumined, no matter how long it has remained in darkness within us.
Always we should pray to the Supreme–all of us–for His Compassion, more than anything else. His Compassion is everything to us. Once we lose His Compassion, we have nothing, we are nothing, we will remain nothing. But once we feel His Compassion and utilise it in a divine way, we have everything and we become everything.
Let us always pray to the Supreme for His unconditional Compassion. Let us pray to Him to inundate us with His unconditional Compassion. Let us pray for His Compassion and let us receive His Compassion. If we soulfully pray, then definitely He will grant it. And if we receive it and utilise it properly, then not only do we get something divine, supreme and immortal, but we do become that divine, supreme and immortal reality.
Always we should value the Supreme’s Compassion more than anything else. Everything He has, He is and He gives us, for He is all unconditional Heart; but if we can receive His Compassion, then everything we have.
