Another Awkward Moment
While on the subject of plays, for obvious reasons I like non-speaking parts the most and I've been a dead body in two plays, a tree, the rear end of a two man silent elephant and many times a walk-on extra who just mutters occasionally and jumps about.
Once I was a baby in a pram in one of Ketan's plays, but this memory too is not an agreeable one. I was meant to be wheeled on for a few minutes in one scene then wheeled off – a short but riveting performance making baby noises with a plastic pacifier jammed into my mouth, mascared cheeks and dressed in an endearingly frilly pink baby top – but in the excitement of the play my fellow thespians forgot to wheel me off and I was left on stage for about twenty minutes trying desperately to remain 'in character' in my pram, jaw aching from the pacifier, limbs aching from being compressed into the baby carriage and trying desperately to make eye contact with somebody to take me away. My plight was soon noticed by my 'friends' on the guys side and their mirth spread like a forest fire, with much finger pointing and ill-concealed joy. Hard to remain dignified and composed under such circumstances.
Moments like this remain indelibly seared in one's memory as another of those horrendous low points that will absolutely guarantee that in none of our many future incarnations will we ever, ever decide to be an actor.
But we have to put in a few cheerful appearances on stage because Somebody wants us to make lots of spiritual progress and overcome our many phobias and neuroses – and if others get sadistic joy watching you do this, hey, raise the curtains, you're on!